Final Pieces

Evaluation

Multiple Facets of Personality Evaluation

 

In the beginning of this project whilst creating the project proposal I feel that I had so many ideas of what I wanted to do and produce. I almost had it all pictured in my head of what I wanted it to be, not the specific imagery I wanted but the basic concept of the work. However, when it came down to it I really struggled with this project more so than usual. I started off doing a lot of research into different artists and areas to help me prepare for my work, something I often do very little of in previous projects as I often find it almost pointless as it doesn’t help me in my practice, this project was different and the research made me develop how and what I could produce. This project I felt more prepared and willing to look into things to find inspiration. Next came the actual making of the pieces. This is where I started to really struggle. I think that the main issue that I was faced with within this project was the fact that even though I have looked into my Anxiety and Depression in previous projects, this was my current ongoing mental state. So where I was normally looking into my past experiences this project was and is my current on going struggle. Over the summer I ended up retracting into myself a lot, having more panic attacks than I have in years, and even having a self harm relapse at one point. The feelings are still very raw and new to me, so I think what I struggled with most was the expressing of these, as I was in my shell throughout the most of the time period of this project. I needed to break free of that and just make work. But with the anxiety of what to make, what imagery would I use, how would it end up looking. The whole uncertainty of the project made me shut down a bit too much, where I hadn’t produced any physical work up until the final weeks of the project. This was hard on me to produce the amount of work, and experimentation of my ideas to life.

Once I finally got some basic ideas of what I could make, the project got a little easier, giving me a starting point of what to make, that could change and it wouldn’t matter. Coming up with the idea of the dress was small, but it was the start that sent me off in the correct direction to produce the depression piece, a piece that I feel ended up being a strong stand alone piece. I still feel that I didn’t explore myself to the extent I wanted to and had the intentions of doing at the very start of the project in the production of the proposal. I was just a bit to ambitious in to what my current mental state was able to handle. From the production of the Depression piece came a stand alone film, this was to show the repetitive catharsis the technique gives me. With the film piece and the photographs of the proggy mask I feel these ideas came a little too late in the project and I didn’t get the chance to fully explore the ideas behind them and quality and substance of them further. With all that said I am pleased with the outcome of the film and photograph pieces where they currently stand.

I feel that if I had more time to expand this project I would have been able to have come to terms with all my emotions, and come out of my self inflicted shell. This would have helped me to be able to create more pieces that would have explored more of the aspect of my personality. Much like what I had proposed in the beginning of the project. What I am going to take from this project into my next project is to not dwell too much on my ideas and what the final pieces will look like too early on, as producing more experimental work whether or not they end up working. This is better than barely producing any work at all. Another thing that I will take on from this project is the use of the proggy technique, as I feel it is one that I feel confident with the outcomes of, and I feel there is more experiments I could try with it. Perhaps not in the next project so that I can let loose more and become more experimental. That all said I think the next project also needs to be less personal, at least to the extent of my current feelings and mental health as it was very hard to get out of the self made rut I ended up getting myself into half way through the project. Most of my previous work still has that idea of exploration of self, but from a more unconnected standing point.